Hello my Brothers,
I stumbled across this excerpt from one of Ken Wapnick's workshop and I found it very moving and helpful to my understanding of forgiveness and judgement. I hope you are moved as well....
An excerpt from the CD entitled "Letting Go of Judgment" by Ken Wapnick.
Ken Wapnick:
**Those were the major points I made in the workshop yesterday ... to hear the melody ... to hear the call, the plaintiff wail, the pain that everybody is in. If you want to know, that's how you do it, that's how you begin to live these principles if you allow yourself to hear the wail that everybody has here ... everybody is wailing here. This is not a nice place. And people cope; they do whatever they can do. Some people cope in socially appropriate ways. They are the nice people we like to be with. Other people cope in hideous ways, vicious, cruel, doing heinous crimes and wicked things, but they're no different because that is how they cope. And behind every
evil person, there is a little frightened child that has been beaten and abused and humiliated and that's how they cope. They grow up and become humiliators, and humiliate and abuse other people. But everybody is the same.
So what you want to do personally is allow yourself to get past all the costumes, all the clothing, and to see the little hurt child that's there, that doesn't want to acknowledge I did this to myself. If you allow yourself to do that, you will have what the Course calls true empathy. Not only because you are empathizing with the strength of Christ in everyone, which is what that section is really talks about, but you are also empathizing with the weakness that is in everyone, not
in just some groups, but it's in everyone. Allow yourself to hear the underlying melody.
When I did that workshop I talked about the melox which is the Greek word for song, but to hear the underlying melody, everybody sings it, it's awful, its painful. It is in such a minor key that it defies sadness even, because it is beyond sadness, it's so painful, and everybody has it. And if you allow yourself to hear that, you will never hold a grievance against anyone, even the
worst villain in your personal life or in the world.
That's how you do it. You start where you are, with your sister, your parent, your ex-husband/wife, the president, whoever it is that pushes your buttons, and basically ask yourself the question what would it cost me to hear this little child inside, to hear this song that is so painful and so mournful and so sad? What would it cost me? What do I have to give up? What will I lose to allow myself to hear it because it's there? And I am plugging up my ears so I
don't hear it. I don't want to hear it in myself and I certainly don't want to hear it in my family member, in my friend, in my colleague, etc. That's the bottom line, that is the question. And the ultimate answer is that I would lose this concept I have of me, but this concept is awful.
We all work so diligently, and so hard, starting at birth to build up a concept that allows us to survive. It's a coping concept, everyone copes here. Nobody is happy here. You can't be happy in a homeless place. So we all cope, that is what defenses are, we all cope and try to get by
and to hear the song that is underneath that. That is what we are giving up, the defenses, the self-concept. And when you allow yourself to feel it, then your heart will go out and not only embrace this person or that person in your life, but everyone, and that includes yourself.
If you include yourself in the embrace, then the one who is embracing is not yourself, it's not Ossie anymore. And that is the fear. The fear that I won't be Ossie anymore. But why? Ossie is not such a big deal ... you don't really like Ossie. You survive with Ossie. Not that Ossie is a
bad person, but that she is like everyone else. But we cling to this, as if it is some God-given gift, and it's nothing. It's sad because it is so hurtful because the person is in such pain.
You know if you walked outside and saw a little child crying, you wouldn't walk past. You would pick the child up and try to find the child's parent or the child's home, or you do something ... the child is all by itself, 3-4 years old, crying ... you are not going to walk past. Well everybody is that little 3-4 year-old crying. No matter what they are doing, no matter what weapons they may use in their arsenal to keep the world at bay, that's what they are. And if you hear that, then all you can do is embrace that child. Even if that child raped and killed your loved ones, lied to you, betrayed you, and abused you, if you heard the little child, the 3-4 year old crying because s/he
is all alone and doesn't know where home is anymore, in that moment you lose all sense of self. So let's say you are on your way to an appointment, but here you see this little child sitting in the middle of the street and nobody is around. Chances are very unlikely that you are just going to walk right by. You will forget whatever it is you were doing in that moment and you take care of this little child.
Well, that is what this whole thing is about. That is what it means to lose all sense of separate interests. But you have to be open to hear that inner melody that says please, please help me. And everybody is singing the same melody. No matter what the notes of the instrument of
their orchestra they are playing, they are playing the same melody. So you want to get past the instruments ... I like this instrument, I don't like that instrument, and get past the form to the underlying content. That is what it means to let go of judgment, for there is nothing but
that universal wail that says please bring me home.
In lesson 182 which is such a beautiful lesson, I'll be still an instant and go home, is about this child, but that child is the capital "C" Child, but that's the Child that wants to go Home. Well that little Child is all of us. But the only way I can get Home is if I take all the little children with me because they are all wailing because the pain is so excruciating.
The whole world is made not to feel that excruciating pain. All the forces of the world are marshaled against feeling the excruciating nature of the pain. I can't think of words that are strong enough to express that, and everybody knows it, and everybody pretends that it's
not there. Yes we can make something better, and we'll do this and that. And again, some people will deal with that pain, by being nice. Other people will deal with that pain by being villains,
being wicked and cruel.
But everybody has the same pain. Everybody is singing that same wailful, mournful song. And if you let yourself hear that, you won't be angry, you won't judge, you won't find fault, you won't try to steal from the person, you won't try to kill the person, you won't prove to everybody
what a rotten person this other person is, and something gets in the way and what gets in the way is our own specialness, our own identity. And again, the point of the Course is to have us realize that what we are holding on to is worth nothing. Not only is it worth nothing, it is painful ... except we don't know it's painful.
So getting back to what I said at the beginning, the point is to shrink the gap between cause and effect and realize that my decision not to hear that call for help, that little child weeping and wailing, and saying please somebody help me. My decision not to hear that, not to listen, leads to the pain I feel. And if I can really see that, then I'll realize that not only is this child weeping, I am weeping too.
I stumbled across this excerpt from one of Ken Wapnick's workshop and I found it very moving and helpful to my understanding of forgiveness and judgement. I hope you are moved as well....
An excerpt from the CD entitled "Letting Go of Judgment" by Ken Wapnick.
Ken Wapnick:
**Those were the major points I made in the workshop yesterday ... to hear the melody ... to hear the call, the plaintiff wail, the pain that everybody is in. If you want to know, that's how you do it, that's how you begin to live these principles if you allow yourself to hear the wail that everybody has here ... everybody is wailing here. This is not a nice place. And people cope; they do whatever they can do. Some people cope in socially appropriate ways. They are the nice people we like to be with. Other people cope in hideous ways, vicious, cruel, doing heinous crimes and wicked things, but they're no different because that is how they cope. And behind every
evil person, there is a little frightened child that has been beaten and abused and humiliated and that's how they cope. They grow up and become humiliators, and humiliate and abuse other people. But everybody is the same.
So what you want to do personally is allow yourself to get past all the costumes, all the clothing, and to see the little hurt child that's there, that doesn't want to acknowledge I did this to myself. If you allow yourself to do that, you will have what the Course calls true empathy. Not only because you are empathizing with the strength of Christ in everyone, which is what that section is really talks about, but you are also empathizing with the weakness that is in everyone, not
in just some groups, but it's in everyone. Allow yourself to hear the underlying melody.
When I did that workshop I talked about the melox which is the Greek word for song, but to hear the underlying melody, everybody sings it, it's awful, its painful. It is in such a minor key that it defies sadness even, because it is beyond sadness, it's so painful, and everybody has it. And if you allow yourself to hear that, you will never hold a grievance against anyone, even the
worst villain in your personal life or in the world.
That's how you do it. You start where you are, with your sister, your parent, your ex-husband/wife, the president, whoever it is that pushes your buttons, and basically ask yourself the question what would it cost me to hear this little child inside, to hear this song that is so painful and so mournful and so sad? What would it cost me? What do I have to give up? What will I lose to allow myself to hear it because it's there? And I am plugging up my ears so I
don't hear it. I don't want to hear it in myself and I certainly don't want to hear it in my family member, in my friend, in my colleague, etc. That's the bottom line, that is the question. And the ultimate answer is that I would lose this concept I have of me, but this concept is awful.
We all work so diligently, and so hard, starting at birth to build up a concept that allows us to survive. It's a coping concept, everyone copes here. Nobody is happy here. You can't be happy in a homeless place. So we all cope, that is what defenses are, we all cope and try to get by
and to hear the song that is underneath that. That is what we are giving up, the defenses, the self-concept. And when you allow yourself to feel it, then your heart will go out and not only embrace this person or that person in your life, but everyone, and that includes yourself.
If you include yourself in the embrace, then the one who is embracing is not yourself, it's not Ossie anymore. And that is the fear. The fear that I won't be Ossie anymore. But why? Ossie is not such a big deal ... you don't really like Ossie. You survive with Ossie. Not that Ossie is a
bad person, but that she is like everyone else. But we cling to this, as if it is some God-given gift, and it's nothing. It's sad because it is so hurtful because the person is in such pain.
You know if you walked outside and saw a little child crying, you wouldn't walk past. You would pick the child up and try to find the child's parent or the child's home, or you do something ... the child is all by itself, 3-4 years old, crying ... you are not going to walk past. Well everybody is that little 3-4 year-old crying. No matter what they are doing, no matter what weapons they may use in their arsenal to keep the world at bay, that's what they are. And if you hear that, then all you can do is embrace that child. Even if that child raped and killed your loved ones, lied to you, betrayed you, and abused you, if you heard the little child, the 3-4 year old crying because s/he
is all alone and doesn't know where home is anymore, in that moment you lose all sense of self. So let's say you are on your way to an appointment, but here you see this little child sitting in the middle of the street and nobody is around. Chances are very unlikely that you are just going to walk right by. You will forget whatever it is you were doing in that moment and you take care of this little child.
Well, that is what this whole thing is about. That is what it means to lose all sense of separate interests. But you have to be open to hear that inner melody that says please, please help me. And everybody is singing the same melody. No matter what the notes of the instrument of
their orchestra they are playing, they are playing the same melody. So you want to get past the instruments ... I like this instrument, I don't like that instrument, and get past the form to the underlying content. That is what it means to let go of judgment, for there is nothing but
that universal wail that says please bring me home.
In lesson 182 which is such a beautiful lesson, I'll be still an instant and go home, is about this child, but that child is the capital "C" Child, but that's the Child that wants to go Home. Well that little Child is all of us. But the only way I can get Home is if I take all the little children with me because they are all wailing because the pain is so excruciating.
The whole world is made not to feel that excruciating pain. All the forces of the world are marshaled against feeling the excruciating nature of the pain. I can't think of words that are strong enough to express that, and everybody knows it, and everybody pretends that it's
not there. Yes we can make something better, and we'll do this and that. And again, some people will deal with that pain, by being nice. Other people will deal with that pain by being villains,
being wicked and cruel.
But everybody has the same pain. Everybody is singing that same wailful, mournful song. And if you let yourself hear that, you won't be angry, you won't judge, you won't find fault, you won't try to steal from the person, you won't try to kill the person, you won't prove to everybody
what a rotten person this other person is, and something gets in the way and what gets in the way is our own specialness, our own identity. And again, the point of the Course is to have us realize that what we are holding on to is worth nothing. Not only is it worth nothing, it is painful ... except we don't know it's painful.
So getting back to what I said at the beginning, the point is to shrink the gap between cause and effect and realize that my decision not to hear that call for help, that little child weeping and wailing, and saying please somebody help me. My decision not to hear that, not to listen, leads to the pain I feel. And if I can really see that, then I'll realize that not only is this child weeping, I am weeping too.
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